SELF CONFESSION VIDEOS ON DEMAND
At some point in late 2014, I wanted to burn down my practice. I felt like I wasn't doing or saying anything that had any importance to anyone, most of all myself. In retrospect, it was just addict tactics. I had only been sober for about three years, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things, so I didn't have a solid grasp on what was important or most importantly who I was. Sobriety is a long game and making art an even longer one. These are hard facts to digest.
To deal with this, to manage myself, I tracked down a website based in Hyderabad, India that offered a solution. They have a unique software package that enables you to create digital customer service representatives for commerce-driven sites. I used this interface to generate clones of myself. I only interacted with this system at an intermediate level. The more I paid, the more I could augment myself, or the versions of myself I created. In essence, I could make myself "better" by adding features to my appearance and personality I don't possess.
Similarly, I needed to keep paying a monthly subscription fee to store these versions of "myself" on their server — to keep "me" alive, or at least these versions of "me" like snapshots from the void. So to deal with this and best remember "myself" in these trying times I developed a method to document "myself" mirrored in these clones I created.
I would generate "myself" at the moment I felt I was most "myself" and post "myself" or the cloned version of "me" to an unknown website. I'd then screen capture the clone's performance of "me" in that instant. This screen recording would serve as both a memory of "me" and documentation of that time and place. The effect is unsettling, deeply uncanny, and yet perfectly captures "me" and what I think it feels like to live in the here and now.
These versions of "me" were essential for "me" to move on and psychologically cleanse "myself" like some backward masked past life regression session. I have long resisted placing these clones within my work but have lately realized that without them, I wouldn't be me, me of today, right now. Even though I've long since abandoned my clones to the black hole of a server farm, the lingering memories of "me" will last for generations to come, or at least as long as my data plan does.
NEW FOLKLORE is a series of digital video screen captures of browser-hosted interactive Flash presentations created from 2014-2015. See more here.