ABSOLUTE ZERO: T=0 K
Even though all my past work has only been about right where I was at the time I was making it, as I look back unsatisfied, I realize maybe it was about nothing.
As the summer came to a close and the world started to rightly reveal itself (especially and thankfully through the ever present lens of social media) as the vastly skewed place it really is, an ever expanding playground for the wealthy and mega-wealthy at the expense of those less fortunate; all I did was question myself about intentions and effects. Who was I and what am I saying and what is the power of the artist to change themselves or their surroundings right now? What is art for? What's the point?
And the tragic deaths of young, black men where no eventual justice was recovered. A largely ignorant government body to these events or how outrageous their reactions are to them especially by those entrusted to protect us. People losing homes, jobs and lives and if not; in positions of exploitation to just remain above ground at the service of management and credit barely hanging on. The inequalities of sex and orientation. Rampant denial of basic needs. The environment collapsing at the hands of humans as it is intended by these selfsame humans as they populate the earth and its airspace. The true Anthropocentric Era coming of age I guess, but to achieve what really?
Everyday seeing those who are squeezed getting rightly pissed about it. Morals, scruples and base human decency towards others just dead. I just look around and feel ignorant, helpless and burnt the fuck out which I hope one does if one is awake. So many people in pain. And fear. Doubt.
And being sober, I'm just in this reality thing everyday. Seeing and feeling in real time. So, I don't know if it's right or what, I had this show on schedule with no certain energy to make anything at all. Why? What would I make that would have any meaning whatsoever as the kind of artist and person I am outside of an abstraction of something?
So this process of doubt led me to making a site as a kind of place. But it's inaccessible. It doesn't exist. It's a simulacrum of an ideal. Because this, what is happening all around us is killing us unless some stillness might fill us and this is in fact happening all around us. But it has to fill everyone I think to work. And it's not.
The work exists as a void to offset everything else. It's created so you won't see it. Hiding in plain sight it denies its existence to take the focus off of it and turn it back onto the super fucked reality we currently inhabit to maybe see it better or instead. A ritual of denial. The art of invisibility by confusion to achieve something. A koan. Or none of this. Maybe there is no solution or a show at all. It doesn't matter.
And I don't know anything.
All I do know is I'm feeling this coming apart and recombination 100% and I'd do anything to see it work even if it means failing again and again in front of people to do something to cause change the only way I know how.